It’s funny how I learned SO much in a week being at home. That had to have been the longest week ever! I am pleased with the extended feeling, even if much of the week was spent wishing and hoping and finally seeing what I couldn’t have. Such is life.
You know you’ve lost your chance with someone when this someone changes them self for somebody else. I can’t help but being bothered so much at this moment because of this realization. What I thought I could do was achieved by somebody else. The person I thought I could be with is with somebody else. The person I considered a good match is a good match for somebody else, and I just feel awful. I hadn’t realized just how attached I was. I don’t want to go back to school only to be around them and suffocate myself with future unrealistic thoughts. Not gonna lie, my heart is kinda breaking and I feel like never liking anybody ever again.
Prior to this thought process, I found out that my other confusing situation now has a clear line drawn to the friends zone.
And I have to go back to school to unwanted drama? What happened to high school where life just seemed perfect with my best friends and none of this quarreling shit or rudeness? To think I have another 11 weeks left with this undesirable situation and a person I wish to get over. In the end, though, I know I should not be complaining. Hopefully my resilience will help with the mending of the heart (wow did I just write that? thats just novel shit right thurr lol!).