2010: In the Beginning Where did you bring in the New Year? At Amalia’s house Who were you with? Most of the WGs, Malik Did you kiss anyone at midnight? Just pecks all around with the girls Did you make any resolutions? not really
2010: Your Love Life Did you break up with anyone? Nope. Did you get anything for Valentine’s day? I bought myself a starbucks, does that count? Did you meet anyone special? YES! Did you fall in love? Very much so :D (finally, SHIT)
2010: Friends and Enemies Did you meet any new friends this year? Yep. Did any of your friendships end? ehhhh some people from my floor last year Did you dislike anyone? faaaaasho Did you make any new enemies? nope Did you resolve any fights? No. Who was your closest friend? WG’s, Jenn, Liz, Jamits, Seanyyyy :) Who did you grow apart from? no one really. Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships? nope!
2010: Your BIRTHDAY Did you have a cake? Yep, I bought myself a cake lol patheticccc What did you do for your birthday? Took myself to starbucks, ate sushiya Did you have a party? Nopeeeee Did you get any presents? yaaaaaaa If so what was the best thing you got? my mom sent me this awesome snack basket, loved that, and a kitty calendar
2010: All about YOU Did you change at all this year? Yes, but not that much Did you dye your hair? twice Did you get your hair cut? only once Did you change your style? my style is always changing Were you in school? Yes ma’am Did you get good grades? Meh. Did you have a job? JOHN CAMPBELL’S IRISH BAKERY! Do you drive? Yuuuuup Did you own a car? Nope. Did anyone close to you gave birth? Helllll no. Did you move at all? Just back to UCSB Did you go on any vacations? None….. Would you change anything about yourself now? Not really.
2010: Wrap Up. Is 2010 a good year? For the most part it was a good year for me, made money, grew up, FELL IN LOVE Did 2010 bring any new insights? ha, how to save money, how to appreciate home and family Do you think 2011 will top 2010? I think there will a lot of growth in my family and my love for sean will just be stronger! so I have high hopes for this year :)
My grandpa is dying. No ifs ands or buts. His cancer has taken over his stomach, liver, and bladder and he is staying in the terminal room of St. Mary’s Hospital. Today my dad’s friend gave him the Last Rights and had confession with him and the doctor said that he probably only has a week. He is barely eating and is having trouble breathing.
Theeen there’s the whole mess with the trust. I’m not going to get into every little detail, but basically my mom and I live in a house owned by my grandpa and the decisions he has made today will most likely require the house to be sold. His house in Tahoe and the cars will be sold too, but my concern is this one. My mom, who has no money, no job, will be forced to live somewhere else. Everything is just all messed up and I wish it wasn’t all happening at the same time that he is dying. I have to say goodbye to him on Saturday because that will probably the last time I ever see him. He looks horrible. He’s lost even more weight and his eyes are bulging more and more. He is on so much pain medicine that he can’t make complete thoughts and read things properly. His wife, who I thought I would be defending, has turned out to be a big disappointment. I hope everything with my mom turns out okay, but who knows. This has been the worst winter break I’ve ever had, and now I have to go back to fuckin school. Awesome. Just fuckin awesome.
Today had to have been one crazy emotional ride. I ended up going to the hospital to visit my grandpa and spent a good few hours there. I just sat with him for a while watching tv, then hung out with my family in the lobby, and all of a sudden the doctor came out to talk to us to inform us that my grandpa doesn’t want anymore chemo, which I knew only because his wife told me, but the rest of my family hadn’t heard the news. Hearing it from the doctor though just made it reality and finalized everything. My grandpa told the doctor he doesn’t wanna go through the pain anymore from the chemo and that he just wants to be able to live again and would rather die that way than in pain. We all got teary eyed, some more than others, and I kept leaving to call either my dad or my mom and I even called Sia. I cried but not too much. My grandpa then called all of us into his room and we all stood around him while he told us this speech about how much he thanks us for everything we’ve done and that he is being realistic with his decision. I just started super tearing up because I just thought about everything that’s happened this week, then I thought about his wife and how she will be throughout this and how hard it’s gonna be for her, then I thought about how I am going back to school in a week and I know I said this before, but it’s such awful timing, especially when we don’t know how much longer he will be with us. I feel awful because his wife doesn’t have anyone except me and I’m leaving. I feel awful because I’m gonna be 330 miles away and I don’t know if this will be the last few times I see him. I know I shouldn’t think that way and we never know how long he will be here but I can’t help it. This happened all too quickly and all too suddenly that we were not expecting anything. Cancer is the worst disease ever. I just wish I could do something. I know be there for my grandpa, but what happens when I go back to school? Who’s gonna be the mediator between my mom and my aunt? Who’s gonna be there for his wife? Or for my mom for that matter? Meh.